Winter Leave, monoprint

There's something about working in a medium that you are unfamiliar with that can really get the juices flowing. I might not be highly paid or recognized but that never really mattered to me. The art mattered. I created it for me, to express....whatever. My best work seems to be the stuff of discovery and learning. 

My creative process can sometimes be fickle. Times when it seems no matter what I do it looks like crap. Occasionally when I'm doing something just to loosen up something like this happens. When I set it aside just after printing I was disappointed, later after it had dried I saw what it had become. 

End of Summer

Took this picture about a week ago. I love these late summer flowers. Their bright yellow and black centers always remind me of hot summer days and good memories.

I've decided to create little cards for each of my 'colors.' Those that know me know what I mean. In essence they will look similar to tarot cards when I'm done and I want to keep them about playing card size. Simple design/symbolism so they are easily understood. The hard part... where to start!?

So I think I'll start with yellow because of these bright and sunshine flowers have inspired me. Pictures to come.

The Dance

Amazing how many steps and moves you have to go through socially. The conscious and unconscious things we do when among other people. How our perception of their perceptions of us have an effect on what we say or do. 

I am so very aware of this particular dance. There are times and places where the sheer stress of it makes me want to crawl into a dark place and just hide. Even now that I am older and wiser it occasionally sneaks up on me and I find myself avoiding contact.

I have never made friends easily. My caution comes from a very  young age. Where I felt a friend betrayed me. I found I could rarely give that trust to anyone else. Perhaps it stems from the fact that I was teased so badly in school that I can hardly remember a day that I did not cry or feel bad about myself. I felt powerless against their words, which contrary to the little sing-song saying "words will never hurt me," they did. I had a serious problem as a child, one that I had no control over. One that to this day I feel ashamed of. 

Those few friends I do have, well perhaps I lean on them a bit too much. I don't know, we never seem as close as I would like to be. So... I continue to ... dance.

Journeys

As I have mentioned before I'm learning to be a shaman. It is more like an apprenticeship than anything else. It also means that my learning experiences is more like a journey than a straight forward education. 

The process that brought me to this point was at times round about and cyclic, but always worth the effort. Now I do not claim to follow precisely a Native American tradition, though I borrow heavily from that wisdom. I have no wish to insult or dishonor any tribe by any ignorance on my part. My ancestry is varied and  I look toward the traditions that they may have used. I also make the effort to actively research and study not only the native traditions, but those of my lineage as well. 

quest

 noun \ˈkwest\

1. an act or instance of seeking: a : pursuit, search b : a chivalrous enterprise in medieval romance usually involving an adventurous journey

I have participated in several quests over the years. These were important journeys for me. Without them, their hardships and discoveries, I would not have reached several goals in my life. I can say that learning to be a shaman has saved my life and my spirit. It is also on these quests I have been deeply inspired by nature around me. 

As an artist, I have struggled with inspiration at times. My particular journey into shamanism is deeply entwined with my art. It is the way I express. I learned early in my journey that art would have a lot to do with my process of becoming a shaman and in how I would serve as a shaman. When I am creating a piece of art, especially art that will have a sacred purpose my focus and intent is deeply important. What will it be for? How will it be used? What energies should it hold? All of these questions are very important. 

Each piece I complete holds a little bit of my energy and spirit, sacred object or not. Sometimes I create an object knowing that it will be going to somebody else. I always feel very strongly about this and give it away freely. I never know if it is appreciated, but I do know that it needs to be in that person's possession. 

King Stag

So in my journey....My Journey to be a shaman, a sacred artist I found myself and my purpose. I found symbols and meanings, the creation and use of those images and symbols to be a powerful force. My journey is not over. I am still walking my path and looking forward to my next quest.