Chrysalis

Lotus Bud

It is hard for me to write sometimes simply because I'm so self critical and was taught at a young age one shouldn't 'brag' about oneself, also one too many times I've bared my soul in words only to have them used against me. I work hard to overcome this at times because it becomes nearly impossible to compliment myself on my successes or accomplishments.  As a result of learning this behavior it is also hard for me to truly accept compliments or praise without inwardly thinking I'm not worthy of it.

So here it is...

Here I will claim my success and my failure, because both are a part of me. Here I will claim my Light and my Dark and thus become the Whole. It is a promise to myself and one I give out to the Universe. Even now I have doubts about my ability to fulfill this promise. I can only do my best and understand that the Mother and Father will understand I am trying my best.

Krysil Is

Chrysalis...

chrys·a·lis /ˈkrɪsələs/ noun

plural chry·sal·i·ses also chrys·a·lid·es /krɪˈsæləˌdi:z/

[count] biology 1 : a moth or butterfly at the stage of growth when it is turning into an adult and is enclosed in a hard case

2 : a hard case that protects a moth or butterfly while it is turning into an adult — compare¹cocoon 1

A stage of growth, a hard case that protects. How apt that description is. Inside I am tender and oh so fragile, outside is plain enough to hide among the leaves. I've been in a state of growth for a very long time. I've been in the chrysalis just waiting for the moment to emerge.

The Shaman

For several years now I've taken up training towards being a shaman. It wasn't until I really started to face my inner darkness, challenge their reason for being, reclaiming the power I had given them that I began to understand that my chrysalis was as much a prison as it was a place of safety. It is only recently that I began to want to go beyond that safety and fly. My chrysalis changed as my connection with my totem grew stronger and more sure. From chrysalis to egg... changed now but still a hard shell that protects. I've grown in this shell, sheltered and protected it is very similar to the chrysalis but as the time nears for me to break forth instead of fear I'm experiencing excitement along with fear. 

The Hawk teaches about vision and clarity of vision. It is the messenger of the Divine. A creature of air, thought, mind and spirit, but also very much about action. My personal journey into the totem of the Hawk has been enlightening, joyous, exciting and yes, at times frightening. Through Hawk I learned and still learn about my Soul Promise, that of the Sacred Artist. 

What is the sacred artist? I had to ask myself this, try to understand what it was. After all there are very few sacred artists out there. We are rare creatures.

Sacred art --is artistic imagery using religious inspiration and motifs and is often intended to uplift the mind to the spiritual.Sacred art involves the ritual and cultic practices and practical and operative aspects of the path of the spiritual realization within the artist's religious tradition.

Hawk Mask

This brought up images of icons and Christian art at first but hat to think for a moment. A defining part of our humanity is our appreciation for art, our love of beauty and pattern. Sacred art is far older than just the Christian tradition. The sacred artist painted the caves of antiquity, carved animal bone, shaped clay into representations of animals and women. Shamans paint symbols, wear carefully created clothing, use personally crafted tools to do their work. The shaman used art to enhance the power of a ritual or an item, to imbue it with the sacred power of what the symbol was meant to represent. 

It is my journey into shamanism that has helped me find this path. More than that, this path feels right and good under my feet. I didn't say it was easy, but it is the right path for me. I discover more and more as I grow and shift in my egg, eager to burst from the shell.